One Hell of a Goodbye

In Movies on July 14, 2012 at 10:22 pm


A cup of sarcastic remarks,

2 heaping handfuls of cigarettes,

One crazed drunken wife-beating Irish man,

One view of naked high hippie women doing yoga,

A dash of sophomoric nicknames, ding-a-ling and albino turd,

One psychopathic Jewish mobster

And an awkward shirtless mustachio Arnold Schwarzenegger 

Mix aforementioned ingredients well and serve hot and you will get “The Long Goodbye” by Roger Altman.

The protagonist, Phillip Marlowe played quite well by Eliot Gould who we all know as Reuben from the Ocean movies, gets caught up in a murder mystery involving his best friend, Terry Lennox played by Jim Bouton,   and his best friends wife, who we never see and is therefore not worth mentioning. Filmed and set in the 1970s, Marlowe unravels the mystery using his smart, a 5,000 dollar bill, and a hell of a lot of cigarettes. The man can light a match off of anything be it a small child to a pool of water. Give him a match and he will light it for you.  Marlowe, also referred to as the Marlboro Man, HA soooo clever, because he smokes a lot of cigarettes, GET IT?, meets such characters as Roger Wade, played quite well by Sterling Hayden who is the scary and disturbing drunken Irish man I mentioned to before, Eileen Wade, the wronged abused housewife played meh by Nina Van Pallandt, and the crazy Doctor Verringer, played by Henry Gibson who looks like Gene Wilder’s long-lost shorter brother. All of these characters play their part in helping Phillip Marlowe uncover the secret of who really killed Terry Lennox’s wife and if Terry Lennox is still alive or not, BAH BAH BAAAHHH, Gripping I know.

This movie was unoriginal in the fact that I felt like I was uncovering this mystery faster than the protagonist was and I felt like I had already seen this, in “Chinatown” which was a much better movie by far. The crazy Jewish mobster, played by Mark Rydell, and Sterling Hayden’s performance made this movie worth watching but not completely. In the end, Marlowe is upset, for reasons that I will not discuss here, but I failed to understand completely why. He is betrayed but he didn’t seem that hurt by the betrayal. He seemed nearly emotionless in the end and then skipped with glee into the sunset which is not a behavior I would think someone so hurt would have engaged it. I liked the way this movie was filmed and I also liked the hippie neighbors who were either topless or naked all the time but the story line, which may have been original in the 1970s, now feels overplayed. I blame Law and Order SVU.

Verdict: Netflix it if you’re interested in the neo-noire gumshoe detective story. You’ll get enjoyment out of his random mumbling in the beginning and his kill phrase at the end.

If you’ve seen this movie let me know what you think and we can talk about it. If you haven’t and you still want to talk about the movie, well that can be done too. If you haven’t seen the movie and you just want to spew verbal diarrhea all over this post, well then watch this and get back to me.


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